Staring into the abyss

growing up in a third world country , it’s difficult … i’m about to turn 30 and still without
any clear direction in life i found myself constantly thinking about death .
i remember being poor since i was a little kid
i remember we couldn’t afford the electricity bill and we had spend the night on candle light for 3 months .
i remember not having money for food and we were fighting over a piece of bread .
we were 5 in the family me and my father and my mother and my 2 sisters .
my mother now is divorced , my father got married again and i have a sister live in france .
she tried to get me out but apparently the france government don’t need anymore emigrants .
i work in physical demanding job and i work for approx. 10 dollars a day to support my
my divorced mother and my other sister .
i feel stuck , i no longer have the effort to continue , i feel tired .
do you believe i never had a relationship with a woman and i’m almost 30
i want to kill myself so bad
why do i have to suffer ?
I need help

The world is so very unfair! I wish I had some hope to offer, but there is so little to be had. My wife grew up in poverty and knows something about it, but my life has been one of white middle-class priviledge in developed countries. God knows, people here complain enough about how hard life is. Sometimes I think there needs to be a way for all of us to live someone else’s life for a while: it might make a few people realize how good they’ve got it. I wish you better times ahead.