god i thought i was over this already!!! tried a dating site but panicked & backed out when a guy contacted me -- already looking 5 yrs down the road to where he dumps me. and i noticed that contacts on facebook are dropping me like flies when they find out i'm divorced, like it's a communicable disease. i want to tell them, "hey, i didn't ask for this; i didn't ask for my husband to cheat on me", but they're all so smug in their married lives with their requisite 2.5 kids -- part of me hopes that they fall as i did & have the rug pulled out from under them. god i'm so flipping angry. if you read this, could you pls say a prayer for me? i can't stand hurting like this anymore....
I will say a prayer and am in the same boat. Although I still want my wife back although I don't think it will happen I am so depressed so hurt
thank you – appreciate that. i will pray for you as well. how long has it been for you?
It has been,only a few,months but she keeps me hoping but is with someone else I can't stop crying I love my wife and she left it is devastating me
god…i’ve been there too. i know ppl will tell you this, but it really does get better (although you will still have those heart-wrenching moments). i’m hoping that you two are no longer living together because, believe me, it will be easier for you to heal. the last month before i moved out was sheer hell – like you, i got the affair thrown in my face time & time again. i don’t know what it is about divorce/separation that turns normal ppl into monsters…do you have children? i am praying for you – it WILL get better.
Your in my heart & thoughts, wish we can at least learn from all this & teach eachother how to treat one another.
April
just feel like I am such a loser and will never be able to have someone love me again. I want her so much I cry always and it hurts so much I just wish I had someone to hold and console me for a change . I have to boys 18 and 16 they cant stand me being so emotional and are so angry at their mom for this. Ralph
it will get better...we need to start thinking about us...believe me they are not thinking about us...they are thinking about themselves...they are being selfish right now...i went through this...we were not married but we were together for 5 yrs, living together...we did everything together and now its just me...and it's that co dependency we have of just having them there and being with them and doing everything with them....and now we see it as just us alone, but were not....we have to take time to heal and then do for ourselves, then to think about letting someone else in our lives, if we want to later on....
Just remember your not alone and you have your kids firemarshal22 even though they are teenagers they still need you, this is a time to do things with them..
I hope this helps and were here for you as well as susiebfree71....serenity26
It is like my whole world has. Been destroyed we were married for 20 years and just,spent my bday alone I am having such a difficult time tonight can.t stop the tears
I'm new. How does this work? Just newly filed. Got the rug pulled out from under me. Was a shock. It was a long marriage. 47 years.
I understand the hurt. Does it ever get better?
Thanks susie for letting me in & Ralph, for every door that closes & new one OPENS, I trust & keep it in my heart/thoughts dailey, it is a comfort to know none of us are alone w/friends like this here.
Thank you it is so difficult argued with my 18 yr old I left the house in tears again sitting in my car Lonely feeling like such a loser. I love my wife so much and want her so badly just wish I had someone close by to talk with . This is the most depressing thing I have been through I don’t know how long I can keep this up. Everyone thank you I feel so foolish crying constantly
Firemarshal, kids cant reason or have insight w/what WE are going through in life & I for one would never expect them to ever know or experience that & I understand thats not what you are expecting from them, they have not been on the planet long enough to experience thoses types of things (not that we would ever want them too UGH) so please.... dont feel foolish for your feelings & maybe they CAN be of some comfort to you right now w/what your having to deal with if they happen to ask "whats wrong", let them in, they can give you a hug & go play video games, like they do or crap like that huh ( and I know nobody is involving kids in what we create tho) & we ARE here for you & I do my best especially now to try & not take it PERSONAL w/kids not knowing what the heck WE are going through huh, keep talking to us.
Take care of you
April
Hi. New here myself, and was just reading these posts. Just signed up today and it dawns on me how we all have so much in common in so many ways.It's never easy to deal with the realization that the one you love has lied or cheated. We always blame ourselves. With me, when I realized my wife was having affairs, my first response was to blame myself - to wonder how I'd let her down to the point that she needed someone else; it finally dawned on me that she was the cause of the infidelity, not me. It's not always your fault that things go bad. Took me a long time to be able to back up from the personal aspects and see the situation for what it truly was; my wife cheated on me repeatedly because she enjoyed doing that. That pain lasts for a good while, but it does abate. You do move on. Forgive as soon as you can. But you never forget. Best wishes to you all!
Hi firemarshal22....I say cry all you want, get it out of your system...I cried and continue now to cry once in a while...I get anxiety attacks when I get close to home from work, cause I know he won't be there anymore...but I try to entertain my mind with something else and of course I have my mom(bless her heart) to talk to me till I get home...it is not easy, not going to lie...but once you see that they don't give a **** about how you feel, your crying is going to turn to angry and then your going to realize you need to keep doing for you....it will take time...susiebfree71 said hug a pillow, guess what I took her advice last night and hugged the pillow..it help me some...it will pass...but right now think about you and your kids...don't let her have the satisfaction of brining you to this level....write it all down here...it helps...it helped me greatly....were here for you...your not alone!...serenity26
@serenity26 – pls tell me that it helped! i used to sleep with a large stuffed bear i named bela lugosi (yeah lol weird i know). i’m hoping that you’re continuing to be as strong ad you come across in your posts…
@ both ralph & serenity – many prayers coming your way! and, for the support of kind strangers, many thanks! :0)
Thats how its done graywolf, & alot here dont see it yet & its ashame, it does live with us forever though, forgive but never forget & that KIDS IS how we LEARN in life huh.....
@graywolf -- don't know about you, but heavens, it's a comfort to me to know that so many ppl are in the same boat. i'm trying to forgive my ex for his pecadillos (did i spell that right?), but at times the anger rears its ugly head. like you said, it's on them, not us. crap -- and a friend told me it takes two yrs to get over this manure??? OY.....
I've heard that too & I also learned it takes two to tango, it isnt always somebodies elses fault, all of us contribute to our relationships be it toxic or just one sided love like co-dependenting, enabling, these are just some of the things people can find only within themselves, & learn from mistakes how to treat eachother better..... just a thought.
April