I've been on this emotional roller coaster for a month now. My life has been turned upside down and I feel as if I've been married to a stranger. The things he has done to me in secret has left me feeling empty. I called out sick again today and feel like I could just stay in bed all day.
My husband has been having an online/phone affair with a woman in another state. When I started to figure out something was wrong, he lied and lied and lied. He even sent me on wild goose chases to keep me out of what he was doing. Of course, my trust for him is zero at this point. He spent weeks on the phone, on the computer, on Skype, texting this woman as much as he could. He called her on his way to work, on the way home, from work and of course had phone sex with her over and over. They "met" on a site called IMVU. It's a total fantasy site where you choose an avatar and can act out fantasies. She was a stripper on this site. He of course had avatar sex with her (sounds so stupid!) He even proposed to her and gave her a wedding ring and they were planning a January wedding.
They also exchanged photos of each other's private parts. I've been trying to deal with this and move on but every time I do I find out just "one more thing". Last night he told me that he had told her that he loved her and that she had done the same. He says he did it not because he loved her but because he thought she would like it and it would get her even more excited. He even lied to her and told her that I didn't give him sex. He told her that he wanted to fly her here and put her up in a hotel room so they could have "real" sex. Another hurtful thing he did was tell her that he thought of her when we had sex.
I feel so degraded! Now that it's "over" with her, he says he regrets it and will never do this type of thing ever again. He wants to work things out. We were seeing a counselor 3 years ago for a similar thing. We should have never stopped. We have an appt. on Monday. I was so distraught yesterday that I had the counselor call me. He then and now believes my husband has sex addiction. I do too. The thing is I don't understand why this happens. We do have a loving relationship. We do have a good sex life (or shall I say we did). This woman did nothing in his mind that I don't do in person. I don't understand how fantasy sex can be more fulfilling than real sex.
We have a 2 year old daughter that we spent years to adopt. She will have been with us 2 years in Feb. I can't believe he would do this to our precious family. I just don't know how to cope with this from one moment to the next. I'm completely broken.