hi everyone i have just signed up to this site in the hopes that someone out there shares some simalarities with me.My husband has clinical depression and ptsd. unfortunatly this has become extreamly out of hand as of late i wont go into the ins and outs of events recently but its safe to say i have question weather or not to remain married for my own sanity.
i have no-one that i am able to disscuss this with so felt the need to vent somewhere. hope someone may read this and be able to offer some advice/ support
thanks all xx
p.s i myself have suffered from clinical depression for 13 years although i now seem to manage without meds so i am not ignorant to thoughts and feelings that go along with this evil crippling illness
amethystbex ....
I prefer to advocate treatment in order to save the marriage.
Is your husband in therapy? Does he see a psychiatrist? Is he involved in any local support groups?
How about you? Do you see a therapist? If not you should. A therapist will help you work out your issues and expose you to many resources.
Have you and your husband looked into marriage counseling?
You are not alone. There have been several other people posting similar concerns over the last few days.
hi thanks for your advice.
yes he does to the above but no i do not although as part of his care package there is a time place and number for carers as well.
i will be joining him on his next but one appointment so time will tell there.
also where have other concerns been posted please as i looked but didnt see although this is only my 2nd visit to site so im still finding my way round.
thank you xx
I'm in a somewhat similar situation, but with my mom. I often feel so responsible for her, and I just wish that I could help her more. I suffer from Bipolar II, as she does, but hers seems to be a much more severe case. Any advice from anyone on how to help support her?
i wish you luck and love in supporting your mum i think its such a terrible illness to have to live through and support i also think (selfishly maybe) that the one person whom you are supporting is often the person you wish was strong for you and the person you want to crumble into after a ****** day to cry or share your hopes fears and worries with.
the main reason why i wish for more support for carers is because illness can often be caused by taking on all those worries yourself then maybe get bypassed and not focused on or treated properly.
strenghth is an amazing thing and w all possess much much more than we think we do.
anytime you need to vent please message me and good luck xx
I suffer from depression, ADHD, OCD, panic and anxiety disorder and my husband does not. He has OCD but not medicated. So I understand your frustration about dealing with it all. Me and my husband have been married 11 years and together 13 years. He has told me I am not the same person now that I was when he married me. I know I'm not because we all change. To be honest with you, prayer has kept our marriage together. I look up information about everything that's wrong with me and I try to share it with him to give him a better understanding of dealing with me and answers to why I do certain things but it seems to never work in my favor. Even though you don't always understand your husband and what he deals with on a daily basis let him know that you are trying to understand him and his illness better. All I want that my marriage is lacking is for my spouse to listen to me, stop being negative about anything, keep positive about every situation that comes your way. You are never going to understand it all the way your husband wants you too. Don't take that the wrong way, please. You got to let him know that you are there to support him in any way. You might not agree with everything he may throw at you but that is where it is going to take you to throw some positive feed back to him. I know it takes two to make a marriage work, trust me. Go to marriage counseling or some type of counselor to help you both. It's not easy, I know first hand. My theory is I'm not a quitter, I'm a fighter. I get tired of the verbal abuse because that is not healthy at all. I'm not against divorce by no means. I'm not in your shoes so you got to do what is best for you at your mental state. Hopefully you will get some peace!! God Bless and Good Luck!!!
Hi, I'm new here but very familiar with being the spouse of a depressed person. Been with her over 25 years with very few of them good. It seems like the well spouse is always the target of the anger and emotional outbursts until you start to question your own value. I have concluded that the disease has the potential to destroy both people if you are not very careful about your own mental health.
The disease has destroyed anything of value in our marriage until I feel like I'm married but do not have a wife anymore. We no longer live together because my expectations of her behavior resulted in her having more stress and I wasn't willing to live in the conditions she wanted to. I still need to help her take care of the everyday things like paying the bills and looking after her house and car not to mention her health insurance issues.
I intend to start a new discussion thread about how to deal with a depressed spouse and your own needs.
hi! i too am new here, looking for somewhere to share/cry/vent etc my frustrations at my spouses mood swings, depression, crys for attention, irrational anger, you name it, it seems like we've gone through it in the past. Reccently he suffered a terrible shock. So there's tonnes of fallout, Dr's, lawyers, agreements, life being put on hold, etc. and i'm just having a HUGE hard time, keeping calm when he's railing against me, and the world.
I sure do understand. Been at this 26 years now. Feels like your always the bad guy but you did nothing wrong. Always your fault. Best advice I can give you in the short term is to take a day or 2 for yourself. Melt into the world someplace where no one knows you or your situation and relax. Pull yourself together, think through everything clearly, recharge yourself and then go back at it. A caretaker who doesn't take care of themself, soon becomes the care needer!
The other important thing to remember: You cannot fix your spouse and sometimes you need to let them suffer the consequences of their behaviors.