So, I had my first session today and this is more than I bargained for. I'm not sure I really want to identify and unravel every negative thought that causes me not to eat. I felt pretty good emotionallly yesterday and this morning until that session. Now I feel worse than I have in awhile. We didn't discuss my eating habits that much...just the why. I know I need to fix the emotional part, but don't I need to be working on eating as well. I only relapsed a couple of months ago, so I'm at a healthy weight, but I'm losing weight fairly quickly. And it's only going to take a couple of months til I'm not in a healthy range if I don't get a grip on this. At the rate this therapy looks like it is going to go, I'm a little worried. Anyone have tips on combatting anxiety(and sometimes panic attacks)so that I can at least attempt to increase my calories on my own?
Annabree,
Please talk about your concerns with your therapist... I don't think it's wise to attempt increasing your calories on your own, without at least the aid of a meal plan... I know the urge to recover NOW! But truly, the work you're talking about doing is VITAL to your full recovery. And it's NEVER fast enough. ♥ I have almost been in therapy for a year, and I'm not sure when I'll be done, either. But I am determined to beat this. I do NOT want a relapse to find me some years down the road... So, for now I am walking the path set before me. I'm trying to be patient. ♥ You CAN do this! Talk to your therapist.. Let her/him explain the process and plan. If you're still uncomfortable, perhaps you need to find a different therapist. But it really is hard to judge after only one session. And it's impossible to do everything at once. Did you get therapy when you were sick the first time?
Thinking of you. ♥
Love,
Jen
No, I never went to a therapist the first time. I was only 13 and thinness has always been valued in my family so no one intervened. Until now, I hadn't relapsed since 16 and they were short lived. I guess it's coming back with more vengence since I tried to ignore it for the last 10 years. I've been increasing my calories on my own, but I've hit a road block at a long number. I don't dare push myself too far because I'm scared it will lead to purging again. I guess I was hoping that would get addressed, but maybe it's too soon. I'm guess a 13 year old problem can't be solved in one session, and I will have to be more patient.
Thanks for your advice.
Love,
Anna
Anna,
I see. You're right; a 13 year problem will not be resolved quickly. :) Yes, expect to be in it for the long haul. You don't want any more years to go to Ed. I wasted 16 years in my own tug-of-war battle with my ED. It's time to push for freedom. :) I'm sooo glad you're fighting!! :) Please keep writing!
Love,
Jen
Anna,
Thank you for sharing. I know it's so hard to be patient when you finally feel 'ready' to get help. Recovery is definitely a process, much like life, and I think the things that you learn in recovery are valuable, so don't shortchange yourself by trying to win some race!
Jen explained it very well....a step at a time...so happy to hear that you are seeing some hope!
Take care..Jan ♥