I’m getting divorced. I’ve not been through this before and I find myself in a sort of in-between state where, for the best part of 6 months, we’ve been living together, being parents to our children but not spouses to each other.
Its taken me this long (and some therapy) to accept that my marriage is over. We’ll soon be having an unimaginable awful conversation with the kids and then once we’ve sold the house and both bought new places, absolutely everything will change for everyone.
So looking to the future I’m filled with some excitement as well as trepidation. But I can’t seem to settle into the excitement part and start planning for my new single life. I’m in an in-between state.
that is a tough spot for sure. in my experience, children are tough and will be able to move forward. they probable need guidance on mourning their loss.
That’s a good point and a view a lot of people share with me. I’m sure it’s correct but I just never wanted this for my kids. I feel like I’m complicit in hurting them because I couldn’t make my marriage work. But at the same time, my preference is to not be married to someone who doesn’t want to be with me… so it has to be this way.
Stanchion,
I tried to make the marriage work: for the kids. Turned out I was teaching them that’s it’s “normal” to be miserable. Kids know. They can feel it and they hear what you don’t say and do, as well. It will be a tough conversation. They may benefit from counseling, too, and your therapist may offer some insights to explaining the situation to the kids.
I wish you the best of luck, a big hug, and the knowledge that it WILL get better. There will be much joy again!