The need to be alone

Hi,

I recently received an autism diagnosis and an adhd diagnosis. I am currently in therapy working through things related to the diagnosis. One thing I have noticed about my life and as a child growing up is that I always tend to rather be alone. I am divorced and recently got out of a relationship and I really noticed that I rather be alone. I find with a relationship I am in this constant anxiety state. I can’t truly relax. It’s like I lose myself to this new “thing” that is actually the relationship. If we would hangout at my place, I didn’t feel at home in my own place. I didn’t feel at ease. When I am alone there isn’t any “expectations” placed on me and I don’t have to make sure I am giving enough attention to the other person. It’s like I only have so much energy to give and I have to give it to things like taking care of my self and being a dad to my son. I have to have alone time to recharge to have enough energy to do the things I absolutely need to do. Socializing and small talk has never ever been easy and it can physically exhaust me. Can anyone relate to me? Thank you!

2 Hearts

I know several people like that including one of my children. It can be exhausting being around other people, I am extrovert and I get exhausted being around people too long. I think it is good to know that about yourself. How are you feeling about your diagnosis, your divorce, how is your son doing?

1 Heart

Thanks for your reply. I’m good with the divorce now. Took sometime to get through it. I am currently working through the diagnosis. I’ve been looking back at my life and realizing how some things make more since now knowing about the diagnosis. Life is a roller coaster ride. Just have flow with it I suppose. How are you?

2 Hearts

I am doing well, did somethings yesterday like switching a doctor that is very anxiety inducing for me. I hate change, but I did it!

I think having a diagnosis, as scary as it is, is life changing, in a good way. It always you to have a path, recognize what is normal for you and find ways that are a healthy way forward, again for yourself.

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From Autism and Learning Disorders to ADHD

Hello there,
I have ADHD with BIPOLAR DISORDER II with underlying chronic anxiety and depression. I don’t have autism, but I’m on medical therapy since approximately 4 years. I had pretty bad experience similar to you. My first marriage (2018) gave a blow to me on my mind, soul and body. I was only 23 years at that time and have a boy child whom I saw when he was 6 months of age. The year was 2019. I wasn’t diagnosed ADHD and when spoke to my professor (Neuropsychiatrist), he did a workup and assigned me a clinical trial task along with him. My clinical psychologist professor had an extensive work up and my personality profile was out. I have constant anxiety state. I got married again after my higher studies. I have a daughter with my second marriage. But still, it’s hard for me socializing. I avoid marriage ceremonies, gatherings, other socializing events especially kins and friend’s parties, etcetera. They physically and mentally exhaust me. I live in joint family. And it’s tough. Especially when I’m a “DISCARD”, “MENTALLY-PHYSICALLY CHALLENGED” label on me by my own parents, siblings, kins. Am I that bad?
Yes, I can relate to you, “E”…

Regards,
Moinuddin Biyabani.

1 Heart

Hugs to you! Glad you have a support group here to help you.

1 Heart