Hi,
I recently received an autism diagnosis and an adhd diagnosis. I am currently in therapy working through things related to the diagnosis. One thing I have noticed about my life and as a child growing up is that I always tend to rather be alone. I am divorced and recently got out of a relationship and I really noticed that I rather be alone. I find with a relationship I am in this constant anxiety state. I can’t truly relax. It’s like I lose myself to this new “thing” that is actually the relationship. If we would hangout at my place, I didn’t feel at home in my own place. I didn’t feel at ease. When I am alone there isn’t any “expectations” placed on me and I don’t have to make sure I am giving enough attention to the other person. It’s like I only have so much energy to give and I have to give it to things like taking care of my self and being a dad to my son. I have to have alone time to recharge to have enough energy to do the things I absolutely need to do. Socializing and small talk has never ever been easy and it can physically exhaust me. Can anyone relate to me? Thank you!