****trigger warning**** I have been in a bad space mentally

****trigger warning**** I have been in a bad space mentally this past week. It feels as if I'm running in circles. I tried listening to a motivational speech but I can only listen for 5 minutes then I would change it to a audio book which I can only listen to for 5 minutes as well. I feel like I'm about to explode and then I start feeling hopeless. I can't think of anything that would make me happy. My eyes are always filled with water for the simplest thing. If someone says hi to me I just want to burst into tears. I feel overwhelmed with life. I have gained 15 pounds in less than a month, I'm getting darker because I have to be in the sun a lot. I disliked my last 2 hairstyles which was a waste of money. I have a new job coming up which includes a test & I can't focus long enough to study. I sit here & miss my ex husband but then I remind myself of why I divorced him & then I start disliking him & everything he put me through. I am so hard on myself about being a mother to my kids. My heart is heavy everyday knowing my mom has colon CA stage 4. I am in a terrible funk & I don't know how to get out of it. This causes me to have suicidal thoughts.

1 Heart

That's all really overwhelming. Do you have anywhere or anything that helps you clear your mind and calm down.

@Jordan5683 no not really.