***trigger warning***
I think about taking my life more and more everyday. My mom has stage 4 colon cancer and I can't bare it. Just going through this journey without a spouse has Trigger my depression even more from my divorce. I am starting to think I shouldn't have divorced him. Although he's a cheater I would have had someone with me through all of this. I am hating life so much right now.
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yesterday I tried to reply but Sg glitched out. Very sorry to hear you're dealing w this. I spent years in hospital situations, treatmnt rms, appts, scans reg fam mbrs at early stages of their lives--unexpected medical situations. I can remember sleeping on a hosp floor in desperation all night thinking my life was a constant nightmare I couldn't get out of. No one to talk to about it really.
All that waiting....and waiting.
Medical Trauma has broken so many people's dreams, lots of disillutionments. I understand that this event has made you think you made a wrong choice but do you really believe that?
What if it is actually fear that is causing you to react? I mean, all these unknowns right? So scary.
Don't let fear identify you.
I don't know what kind of relationship you and your mom have had? Hope it's a positive one. I know that there are in-person Cancer support groups for fam mbrs and caregivers. For pediatrics it was 'Candlelighters' but I'm sure there are several Adult groups associated with either the hospital or Hospice your mom is going thru...check your local areas. I had to find these people bc I needed to hear from someone else going thru it. If she or you have any local Faith Center link, call their office...many hospital Chaplains are very good at understanding heavy medical burdens.
Sorry this got long.
Question: what do you think your mom would want for you? I'm guessing she' d want you to seek the help you can get. Release the hurt, pain, guilt, shame or WHATEVER is making you feel like this right now. I wish you peace.
@Littlesis7 thank you for your words of encouragement. I think it is fear that’s making me think I made the wrong choice with my ex husband. I am just sad & hurting right now. My mom doesn’t know I go through this. She wouldn’t want me to be this way at all. Our relationships has always been rocky but the love has always been there on both ends. I am just lost right now. Also sorry to hear what you’ve experienced in the past. Thanks again for reaching out.
I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, friend. Wish I could give you a hug. Life can be stressful and overwhelming at times. But putting an end to your life will never solve your problems. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His comfort, strength, and peace. Remember that you deserve to feel better, and you don't need to carry your burdens alone. Stay strong, friend. Sending hugs your way.
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@littlestarsmum thank you, thank you I really and truly appreciate you commenting & most of all saying a prayer for me.
If your in crisis please call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8256) Spanish 1-800-628-9454
Starting July 18 there will be a new national crisis hotline. That number is 988
Brave 741 741-Crisis Text line
Crisis Text Line-Text the word NAMI to 741-741
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@godlovesus thanks