TW miscarriage r*pe nightmares abuse i'm getting a new IUD

TW miscarriage r*pe nightmares abuse
i'm getting a new IUD placed sometime this month, but it's so triggering for me ecause it reminds me of when i lost malcom. reading the aftercare instructions for after getting an IUD is soo triggering for me i'm very upset rn. i lost him feb 27th 2020 and that day is coming up and i don't want to sleep at all or ever cos if i do i'm gonna dream of him and my mental health is so fragile right now. i don't talk to malcom's daddy anymore and he's such a ***** i wouldn't want to anyways but he's the only person who knows how bad this hurts. all of my comfort stuffed animals are at my abuser's house and i really just feel like crying and hyperventilating and i j wanna sleep and NOT dream until that date is over. on top of that january - march all reminds me of my rapist and i just feel soo much hurt right now. oh god i'm in class rn and this girl who doesn't like me j made DIRECT eye contact w me >>:((( >:////

the positive,
i have pink hair now! :3
a girl from school bought me a monster and choclate cherries for v day <3
my outfit is soooo good today >:)
getting an IUD is a good thing and will keep me safe in the long run
i made some yummy tofu the other day and i might do it again for dinner soon :p
a bunch of girls agreed to be my valentine today :*

Honestly , I'd highly recommend AGAINST getting an IUD. I've only ever seen research of it doing more harm than good.

@82654IA i talked to my doctor and he said the nciotine and progsterone interaction won’t be a problem until i’m 35 so i’llbe good