Ughhh making changesstill

Ughh ok I am trying to figure this all out I want to have a different life but I do not know how to change it. I need to build real relationships with people but I do not know how.
My struggle right now is, and maybe this is just me and my character flaws but have any of you ever felt like the person everyone walks away from when they see you? I feel like everyone has written me off as a person that has to many problems or is just not worth their time. I feel like people think I am trash, so it is really hard to try to talk yourself into change and trying to talk yourself in to thinking that you are worth anything when everyone around thinks you are trash!
Help
Kirstin
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I've been places and seen people i knew from school and they'd just put their head down and walk the other direction. I feel like its to avoid me. Is that kind of what you mean?

Yes but also when I go to the dr.s office they just act like I am not worth their time or neighbors act like they are just tolerating you, I do not know it is just a way that makes me feel dirty like I am some terrible worthless person that I would not even want to be around, does that make any sense...
Probably not who knows

It does make sense, I always feel that way.. That people just deal with me but they don't really like me

I know this is hard to get through. There is two forces in all of us that try to influence us; the darkness (negative, unloving force) that try to control and destroy us by feeding our thoughts of everything bad; then there is the light (God if you want to call that) that stand quietly and patiently to support and influence us, it doesnt force us because it respect our own free will, and it stand for unconditional love. The only way to find this light is to try to be still, quiet your mind, and seek within. You have to start your journey to find your true self (you are of the light, of unlimited love and compassion. I recommend you start slow, look into meditation-do it, and read spiritual books. There is this ultimate power within you and each one of us that we're bless with, but like everything we have to take our time ( lots of time) to learn about it, know it, Embrace it, and unleash it! It is a slow process, you can do it, it will be a lifelong journey, and the sooner you start the best will start show up in your life, one moment at a time. Time to stand up against the darkness and accept your beautiful light within. Start to unwrap your ultimate presents, every layer is sweeter than the one before it! Enjoy, and may all truth, joy, love, and peace be with you! XoxoxX

I feel like that all the time. It's not easy at all and its hard to even think about change. I can't offer much advice because i'm trying and i'm not getting very far. All I know is that I have one best friend and for some strange reason she seems to believe i'm worth something and i've decided maybe she see's something that I don't. I don't know you or your situation but you're on here and you're trying to change and be a better version of yourself and I think that's worth fighting for.