I know i have contributed to the breakdown of my marriage but i just don’t feel like I can keep doing the same thing over and over. It’s the same argument the same differences and i don’t know how to fix it because my anger and defensiveness is working over time. I still love him but i don’t think he’s in love with who i am and every time I try to move past him chatting with other women it happens again and he claims it’s my fault for the way i treat him… I’m so broken and don’t feel like I have it inside me to heal with him. My trust is gone and i feel so guilty at the same time… i did tell him i want a divorce but at the same time it scares me to the core.
Any advice is appreciated.
Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is admit that things are over and ask for the ability to heal and move on. The most ideal way to move on is to deconstruct the marriage as friends since presumably most people were friends before they married. Try to be as kind as possible, but in case he doesn’t return the favor, make financial plans and try to split your finances if possible beforehand. You deserve to not walk a razor edge all the time, you deserve to be happy. -SG
1 Heart
Thank you. Im trying to do just that but its not easy i love so hard so disconnecting isn’t easy for me. But i am making plans to move and trying to keep it civil. He wants to bicker about the same stuff so im trying to keep from doing that. But im also so heartbroken and fall apart quite often.
You still love and care for him, that is normal and actually great, you are showing him that while your marriage cannot be saved, your commitment to being his friend and supporter is still there and going strong. Grief is a beautiful thing, it allows you look back on your time together when things were still good with joy and sadness over the present time. We need to experience grief, it is healthy and it is normal, don’t shy away from it. You deserve this time to heal and in time you will heal. Best-SG
1 Heart