When you see the guy you're dating is still active online

Relationships Online Dating
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I haven't been dating online for a short while, though one question that continually comes up amongst my girlfriends is what does it mean when a guy who you met online is still actively dating online? Meaning, you can go to a Match profile and see that they've been on within a certain period of time. I can imagine that it depends on how long you have been dating and how serious the relationship is getting. Though, it really isn't a warm and fuzzy feeling to see that, I suppose that some people date around until something gets serious in traditional (off-line) dating, but this is a bit more in your face.

I would love to know your thoughts on this...thank you so much!

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I'm old school but sure it means what you already said & never mind & move on.

I have a question.....How do people date online when its so detached & in a virtual world???? I've read the other posts & comments about online dating & ONE of the stories was soooo wonderful & the circumstances surrounding the eventually meeting & marriage, but I'm still wondering.

Pup you have got to write a story about these experiences when you have time so the rest of us can kinda understand how it works, it sounds scary to me, so teach us folks out there. I understand & wont take it personal if you dont want to explain though. I did Match.com once & its was free until they wanted to charge a monthly fee to send or receive email, I didnt do it & cancelled & I admit I was lonely at that moment..... just my thoughts.

Your the best, April

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puppydoglvr ...

If someone does not put in their profile that they have FOUND someone, then they are just not that serious about a relationship.

Also, most of these Internet dating sites allow the users to hide their profile from the search function and from the matching function.

If a guy or a girl doesn't put a statement in their profile about being off the market or does not hide their profile, then DUMP THEM!

I am saying this as if you have ascertained that you are in a relationship and not just meeting the person for drinks.

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April, I will absolutely tell the stories of my friends who have found success in online dating. It's pretty amazing. Though, I've heard the good, bad and the ugly. There's really all sides to online dating just like traditional dating. It's all a wild card to me; you just never know where when and how you will meet that right person for you. I agree in that it is quite detached and thus why I'm no longer doing it. That's not to say that I won't again, but it just wasn't for me based on my experiences.

LuvsHeadMeds, thanks for your insight. Now, if you're in the super early stages of dating, like the first weeks, then is it ok if they still have their profile up but they haven't been active? What does that say? Maybe they're keeping their options open and have it as a back up should things fail.

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You answered it. LOL

If they are past those early stages and have not said or done something with their profile, then be very weary of them. They are either keeping their options open or are trying to play the field.

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Puppydoglvr: I have never experienced a date sight that states voluntarily you are dating someone else. Most would not reveal that fact. I don't even know how you would do that. Put your profile on hold? I have done that.
The thing is, if you have only dated someone a few times they are not "exclusive" unless you both agreed to that.
So I don't fool myself in to thinking this person I am dating is not dating anyone else. And I don't stop looking just because I have dated this person a few times. There is no harm, in my opinion, in playing the field. Maybe it's my age. I am older then most of the members here, and recently separated. I think so much more different then some of the posts here.
I am happy to be dating at all! I consider myself lucky to have honest, educated, gentlemen wanting to be with me. It wasn't easy. The hunt, the search, what ever you call it. :-) I worked hard to find my dates. I just have no expectations, and therefore no dissapointments. I am not looking for commitment. If it happens, fine. I think some women approach on-line dating with high expectations and are quick to rule out a person for an innocent error. Inhave talked to men in chat rooms and they are frustrated because they have no idea what women want. LOL I'm not saying there are not creeps out there, there are. But generally, in my experience, they are just lonely people looking for attention, companionship, validation, and perhaps love. Me too!
I'm an Army Bratt, and I think, street smart. That is a real asset. I try not to be judgemental as I have my faults too. So try the "friends first" approach on instant message or text or email.
I'm not sure if I said this before, because often after composing a long post, I hit the wrong thing and it dissapears. ARRRRGGGGGG!
Anyway I am picky about grammar and spelling in a profile. Since I am attracted to "braineacks", I think a well composed profile is important. It is not a deal breaker, but after all it is all you have to start with.
And if there is no photo, I don't even bother. But I always answer every letter as a courtesy.
Thanks for all your posts......you guys are the best!

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Thanks so much LuvsHeadMeds, you're so fantastic. I really appreciate your continued insight and support.

BeenThereDoneThat42, you are absolutely brilliant and so right on. One of my close girlfriends, who got married last year, told me to never throw all of my eggs in one basket until there's a real commitment. She said that we're of an age where we can't afford to waste any time. I have to take on that mentality. And, I truly love your outlook on going into it with no expectations because this way you have no disappointment...wow, that's so so so smart. I am taking on that thinking, taking it one day at a time, not throwing my eggs into one basket and dating around until I have a real commitment.

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Ok,
I think what I would do is date the guy and just the guy, no checking up online no nothing like that..I wouldn't take myself off the site, but i wouldn't check the site either while I was dating him especially in those first 3/4 dates it's crucial you don't drive yourself crazy over nothing. Then I think you'll know when is the right time to have the discussion, about exclustivity and closing accounts if it's going well if not then wasn't meant to be.

Just for a second think this is where I am with this person...I am not saying marry me, but what i am saying is I am open to giving you a shot..and I will not play a silly game with my laptop...the only person i will communicate honestly with is you:)

Cos no matter which way we meet, in life or cyber space there's always the potential for cheating, but there's also the potential for great things, so don't hit that caution button too hard:)

Love to you
Moongal x

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I suppose this is sort of off topic but I felt like rambling technobable - So. It seems that what you mean by active online. Is active in social activities that could possibly lead to dating? I could probably leave it at that and get a good answer.

I just recently got into social networking period. And this is the only site I go to for that purpose anymore. Not even this group usually, I hang out in anxiety and depression.

So when you say active online I certainly hope you mean dating stuff. Rather than just being online.

Cuz I spend many hours on line studying guitars, pro audio gear, electronics, photography, amateur radio gear, computer programing, Computer building - hot roding & repair for both hardware and software, and much much more, I often refer to the web as the worlds largest and most up to date encyclopedia. So I spend allot of time online studding things that have nothing to do with talking to anyone.

If I were in relationship I may still come to this site for support. And it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if she wanted to watch my activities. She could look over my shoulder, O I could hook up a terminal in a different room that she could monitor when home or record all activity when shes not. Let her set the passwords and access codes that I wouldn't even know.

Ah but having been a networked systems administrator for a word wide corporate network, and a programmer. I also know how to run through an anonymous proxy server access re-mailing systems and falsify a static or even a dynamic IP address. IE.(the number that specifically Identifies your computer) so your e-mail Knows where to go, websites know where to send information that's been requested etc.

When you run a false IP through an anon proxy. Not even the F.B.Is best forensic specialist can tell where it came from or went to. Set every program including the O.S. itself to clear and shred any log or cache files. meaning even if that forensic specialist was to come in the house and look at my p.c. or try to recover erased data from the hard drive. Noting - no traces anywhere of any kind.

I don't go to those places anyway but I guess the point to all that is myself I wouldn't be in meat markets if I already had a Lamb Chop. I like to think that she would know that. If I had too I could easily prove it. But if needing to prove anything became a regular thing. Wee'd either have to seek counsel, to hopefully eradicate un necessary suspicion, Or if that was unsuccessful. I would most likely tell her right out. I'm going to look elsewhere now, and it probably wouldn't be on the computer.

So much for 2 cents? Theres my buck fidy..

trick

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