I am 26 years old and I feel like I should just crwl in a corner and stay there for the rest of my long and crappy life. I do not know what to do anymore I have a wonderful Husband, 2 beutiful daughters, a roof over my head, and a job. Yet every time I turn around it seems like I am supposed to fail at everything. I have suffered with depression most of my life and I do not think it is ever going to go away. I have a part time job right now as a Personal Care Attendent but now because I am working we can not get any assistance from the county. We are 10 dollars away from the line for help, it is so stupid because my income changes from one month to the next. I am trying to go to school to better my life but because I can not concentrate on anything I am failing at that too. I am sick and tired of being on so many medications yet no matter what I do it never gets better. They work for a little while then something else happens in my life and I go right back to square one. I was just in the hospital last year for thoughts of suicide and tonight I am really wanting to go back there just to get the heck away from everyone. I want the world to just leave me alone and I do not know what to do:-(
im sorry, but does your husband have a job to help?? just wondering. but i dont really have any advice to help, but i know how that feels. sometimes i just wish that id end up in the hosptial for some reason for a couple days, so i dont have to worry about anything, wouldnt have to think. just sleep and not have to be here. an escape i guess. so i have sympathy for you and know the feeln, if anything i hope it at least makes you feel better that your not the only one...
hope it gets better, but try n stay positive and enjoy the little things in life. like seeing your girls everyday
My husband does have a job he works for wal-mart as a support manager but unfortinatly they do not pay that much. He is one step away from being a Assistant manager though which then he would be making good money. I really try hard to look at the positave especially with my girls but it is sad to say lately I wish I did not have kids at all. And my oldest has ADHD so her and I like fight all the time because our attitudesa clash. It really sucks IU hate this feeling like the world is out to get me including my family. I am glad to here that I am not the only one that feels this way but I also feel bad for anyone that goes through any of this because it is not easy and the feelings just SUCK! Thank you for responding to my post.
well hopefully he gets the step up soon. and im sry about everything, how old are your girls?
I have a 7 year old with ADHD and one that will be 2 in Dec.
well she still loves you
I know the feeling very well myself. I was hospitalized January 09 for suicidal tendencies and diagnosed with BPD during that time. It sucks and can be really hard, but things can get to be good. I'm not much younger than you, I am 22 and been suffering from depression since I was 12, medicated since 16. The idea of being on meds for life is not the greatest thought. But when you find the right ones that actually stick and work for longer than 4-6 months, it's pretty nice. And it's worth it. I'm not sure how the hospital was that you were at, but the one I was at scared me to death. People screaming and being restrained to the ground in order to get meds. The idea of going back there keeps my thoughts somewhat at bay. I've had recent suicidal thoughts, but talked to somebody close right then to cheer me up through them. Have you tried that? The tough part was convincing myself, but eventually it worked.
My thought would be to think about your girls and them growing up. ADHD is hard to deal with in a child I am sure. I have been diagnosed with ADHD very recently, try having BPD and ADHD. That's a headache, I have often gotten depressed because I've annoyed others. It's really weird. Anyway I had a lot of fights with my mom when I was younger, probably because of it, but we are now so much closer now that I understand it all. Think about the relationship you will have when she understands better. You never know what the future brings.
I am so sorry to hear about your suicidal thoughts and depression. I wish I was the only one who experienced those things. I just joined this group as I have had suicidal thoughts the last day. The beast of depression returned with a vengeance. I, too, just want the world to leave me alone and I, too, wish I didn't have family at times. I just posted myself saying that I was upset at my wife for marrying me (and, thus, my depression). I run a home for abandoned and orphaned children in Africa. At times, I lose feelings for the children as I do my own family and they are so precious! I will pray your husband gets the promotion. Any update? I know how finances (or the lack thereof) can contribute to depression. Try to focus on the good things about your life (husband, girls, housing, etc.). I know it's difficult as I'm trying to do that right now myself (I am preaching to my own choir!). Just know that you are not alone and you have people who support you. Blessings.